Four Relationship Goals That Make You a Better Person—Well, for Me at Least

Relationships represent the last key area of my six goal-setting categories. This placement doesn’t indicate lesser importance in fact, all five other goals require relationship qualities to be accomplished successfully.

Relationship means establishing meaningful connections with others and nurturing those bonds through consistent communication, mutual respect, and shared experiences. It includes how we interact with family members, friends, romantic partners, and even ourselves, shaping our personal growth and well-being. Strong relationships provide emotional support, opportunities for personal development, and a sense of belonging that enriches our lives in countless ways.

Setting intentional relationship goals isn’t just about improving your partnerships, it can profoundly transform you as an individual. Taking time to nurture existing relationships ensures emotional sustainability, makes us happier, and provides support as we navigate life. It also enables us to be present for our loved ones during their own life journeys.

Establishing new relationships fosters growth and offers fresh perspectives on where you are in life and where you intend to go. However, one of the most important relationships is the one you have with yourself. How do you treat yourself, care for yourself, and spend time developing self-awareness? Dedicating time for yourself allows you to show up better in your other relationships. It’s like the familiar airplane safety instruction, put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. When you’re in good shape, you’re better able to help those around you.

Here are my four relationship goals that have helped me grow as a person:

1. Spend quality time with family: I make this an intentional daily goal to connect with my immediate family (husband and son) and with my extended family who lives nearby (mom, dad, aunt, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew). Since my husband’s family lives in another state, we aim for at least 2 visits per year to spend time with his side of the family. I also make a point to connect with extended relatives like cousins, aunts, and uncles, which strengthens our family bonds for generations to come. This happens by making an extra effort to attend family functions such as weddings, birthday parties, baby showers, and christenings. Recently, my aunt on my dad’s side of the family got married, and even though the wedding date conflicted with a recurring church event, we chose to attend my aunt’s wedding instead. I connected with cousins, aunts, and uncles that I hadn’t seen in a while. We had a great time celebrating my aunt’s nuptials while catching up and enjoying each other’s company. 
   • Here are some examples of family quality time goals:
     • Weekly family dinners with no devices
     • Monthly family outings or adventures
     • Annual family vacations
     • One-on-one time with each family member (date night with son)
     • Connect via video calls or phone calls with extended family once per month.
   • Having regular interaction with family creates trust and deeper connections that weather’s life challenges. A healthy family support systems reduces stress and increases overall happiness as shared experiences becomes stories that define our families’ uniques identity. Knowing you have people who care about you creates security and confidence in navigating life’s challenges. This sense of belonging provides emotional stability and reinforces your self-worth, making you more resilient when facing difficulties. When you feel secure in your family relationships, you’re more likely to take positive risks in other areas of your life, knowing you have a safety net of support behind you.
2. Connect regularly with friends:  Most of us have a core group of friends we regularly spend time with. Just like your relationship with your family, your friendships are important. Cultivating relationships with people outside your family who have diverse backgrounds helps you grow personally and fosters unbreakable friendships. I have a core group of friends in my area with whom I make an effort to connect regularly, either in person or by phone. For friends living in different states or countries, I maintain those connections by periodically sending texts or making calls to let them know I’m thinking about them and am available if they need anything.
   • Here are some examples of friendship quality time goals:
     • Monthly coffee dates or video calls with close friends
     • Quarterly group activities (dinner, bowling, movies, game night)
     • Celebrating birthdays and acknowledging important milestones
     • Participating in shared hobbies or classes
     • Planning annual weekend getaways with friends
   • Connecting regularly with friends is beneficial for several reasons. Beyond just enjoyable social interaction, these relationships provide crucial emotional support during difficult times and people to celebrate with during life’s victories. Friends often offer different perspectives than family members, helping us see situations from new angles. Research shows that maintaining strong friendships contributes significantly to mental health, reducing stress and depression while increasing feelings of happiness and belonging. Unlike family relationships, which sometimes come with complicated dynamics, friendships are chosen connections that can evolve as we grow, creating a diverse support system tailored to who we are becoming.
3. Have consistent date nights with husband: Prioritizing one-on-one time to nurture my marriage, strengthen our connection, and continue growing together as partners is an essential relationship goal. Regular date nights create opportunities for deeper conversations away from daily distractions, helping us maintain intimacy and remember why we chose each other. These special times allow us to discuss our individual growth, shared dreams, and address any challenges before they become significant issues. Whether it’s trying a new restaurant, taking a cooking class together, enjoying a simple walk, or having a movie night at home, these moments reinforce our commitment and help us evolve as a couple. We aim for bi-weekly date nights, even if some are simple at-home dates after our son goes to bed. This consistent investment in our marriage provides the foundation for our family’s wellbeing and models healthy relationship habits for our son.
   • Here are some examples of intentional date night: 
     • Date night twice per month ( which includes dressing up )
     • Overnight gateway once per quarter
     • Surprise date planning where you each take turns organizing something special
     • Annual anniversary dates
     • Day dates ( take the day off work, while son is in school and enjoy brunch and maybe some light shopping)
   • Consistent quality time strengthens your partnership, building resilience against career pressures, family challenges, and major life transitions. Research demonstrates that healthy marriages significantly improve both partners’ psychological wellbeing by reducing anxiety and depression. With a supportive spouse by your side, you’re more likely to pursue personal goals and dreams, benefiting from both emotional encouragement and practical assistance. Studies also reveal that couples in fulfilling relationships tend to enjoy better physical health outcomes, including enhanced immune function and increased longevity.
4. Dedicate time for self-care: Take intentional time for yourself. Begin with quiet moments free from interruptions, where you can silence the external noise, relax, and truly rest. Time spent alone allows you to recharge mentally and emotionally and to process your thoughts without external influence. Solitude provides space for creative thinking, personal reflection, and establishing boundaries that strengthen your sense of self. It helps you distinguish between your needs and others’ needs, which leads to healthier relationships with less dependence. Filling your cup first before assisting others reduces burnout and feelings of being overwhelmed. It’s like the familiar airplane safety instruction: put on your oxygen mask first before helping others with theirs. Focusing on the relationship with myself through regular me-time allows me to show up better in my other relationships.
   • Here are some examples of self care goals:
     • Schedule weekly “me time” for activities you enjoy (reading, walking, hobbies)
     • 10 – 15 minutes daily of uninterrupted quiet time .
     • Maintain a regular sleep schedule with 7-8 hours per night
     • Monthly Spa day which includes manicure, pedicure and masaaages
     • Keep a gratitude or reflection journal to process thoughts and emotions
     • Take quarterly personal retreats (even if just for a day) to reset,
     • Engage in regular physical activity that brings you joy
     • Disconnect from social media and other digital demands
   • Dedicating time for self-care is essential for overall wellbeing and relationship health. When you prioritize your own mental, emotional, and physical needs, you develop greater self-awareness and emotional resilience. Regular self-care prevents burnout, reduces anxiety, and helps maintain perspective during challenging times. By investing in yourself, you become more patient, present, and emotionally available to others. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary foundation that enables you to show up authentically in all your relationships and sustain the energy needed for meaningful connections with others.

The four relationship goals I’ve shared—spending quality time with family, connecting regularly with friends, having consistent date nights with my husband, and dedicating time for self-care—have been transformative in my personal growth journey. These aren’t just activities to check off a list; they’re intentional practices that build a foundation for a fulfilling life.

When we nurture our relationships with intention, we create a support system that helps us weather life’s challenges and celebrate its joys. Each relationship serves a unique purpose in our lives, family provides roots and history, friends offer diverse perspectives and chosen connections, romantic partnerships give us companionship and shared dreams, while self-care ensures we maintain our individual identity and wellbeing.

Remember that relationship goals, like all meaningful goals, require consistent effort and periodic reassessment. As your life circumstances change, you may need to adjust how you implement these goals, but their core importance remains constant. The quality of our relationships often determines the quality of our lives.

What relationship goals would make the most positive impact in your life right now? I encourage you to identify one area where you could be more intentional and start with small, consistent actions. The relationships you nurture today will shape who you become tomorrow.