Scenario: You are almost at the the end of telling someone a difficult situation that you are currently facing, with the hope of hearing a strategic way to combat that difficulty. You come to the end of your story and their response is “Don’t Worry”. Don’t Worry? What?
Many people say “Don’t Worry” to each other and many times to ourselves when we know that, if worrying was a professional sport, many of us would be the G.O.A.T, (Greatest Of All Times) in this sport of worrying. Some of us are masters, subject matter experts, and most valuable players on the Worrying team, but yet still we say to others and to ourselves; “Don’t Worry.” Don’t worry we will get over this, Don’t Worry we will get through this. My pet peeve is Don’t Worry this too shall pass!
The definition of the word “worry” according to the Webster dictionary is to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles or a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. Dwelling on our difficulties, dwelling on our troubles, is something we do consciously and sometimes subconsciously. We focus on the what-ifs, what can happen, and what might happen. We take our present time and get overly anxious about the future. When we worry, we allow ourselves to get stressed, not only mentally but physically. Have you ever gotten so worried until your head hurts or you begin to have pain in your shoulders or your back? In Jamaica, we call it worrying pains and these pains can last for days if you continue to dwell on that difficult situation. It causes us to be less productive, which leads to us performing poorly in our everyday activities. Worrying, and now pain in our bodies will negatively impact other areas of our lives such as our relationships, our finances, and our health, as we are now making decisions in an anxious or unhealthy state of mind.
So, I am here to encourage you to Stop Worrying and Pray instead, or another way of saying it is Pray instead of Worrying.
Mathew 6:27 states: And who of you by worrying can add one more hour to the length of his life? (Amplified Version). So, what if we didn’t worry at all? Imagine how many extra time we would have in a day to actually focus on the positive things that are happening in our lives.
Here are 3 things we can do instead of worrying:
1. Pray
Philippians 6: 7 says Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. (Amplified Version).
I love the NLT version which simply says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” It is impossible to Worry and Pray at the same time. It is like oil and water, they do not mix well, they cannot co-exist, it is either one or the other. We can’t do both and expect good results. When a worrying thought begins to consume you, stop that thought in its track and begin to pray. Begin to pray over that thing that is about to put you in a state of worry or fear, by making your request known to God and then leave it there. And don’t pick it up after you finished praying because you would have just defeated the purpose. It also shows that you didn’t trust God who is our protector, our refuge, and our strength. We must choose to walk in faith and trust that God will get us through difficult times. The solution might not happen our way or the way we would like, but God will see us through. Don’t WORRY, instead, PRAY. The more we pray the less we worry!
2. Practice Gratitude
This is my favorite thing to do!! I actually have a gratitude journal that I write in daily, five to eight things that I am grateful for. When I feel overwhelmed or begin to worry about the future, I just reach for my journal and either look back on past entries of things that I was grateful for or just write a few new things that I am grateful for in that moment. This helps me to focus on the good that is happening in my life instead of worrying about things that are not happening or should be happening. In 2018 I experienced my 3rd miscarriage, we were having a little girl “Gabriella” I was 21 weeks and 5 days pregnant and within a 48-hour period, the doctors told my husband and I that they must take our little girl or I will not survive. So, at 22 weeks I had an emergency c-section and within the hour our baby girl died. This was December 2018 and at the beginning of 2019, I decided not to dwell on or worry about the what-ifs, I decided not to worry about whether I did everything right, or worry if we will ever be parents. Instead, I began a gratitude journal, and for the entire year, I filled two books of things and circumstances for which I was grateful. This exercise reduced my worrying state and now when I begin to feel overwhelmed or experiencing worrying thoughts, I practice having a gratitude attitude. This tremendously helped my worrying state and now I worry less if at all. I don’t always have my book with me, so sometimes I would say it out loud, scribble on a piece of paper, or write it in my notes on my phone. I encourage you today to start a gratitude journal or practice saying aloud daily what you are grateful for, especially during times when you feel like you are about to dwell on your difficulties.
3. Focus on Positive Thoughts
Instead of thinking of the negative “what ifs” that may never happen, we should stop those thoughts in their tracks and start thinking of some positive “what ifs”. We don’t know what the outcome will be so let’s just hope it is a positive outcome. Stop wasting precious time thinking of the bad things that could happen and imagine the good things and you will begin to feel better overall, regarding the situation. There is a theory called the law of attraction: it simply states that we will attract in our lives our most dominant thoughts. I call it the Proverbs 23:7 law which states For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. So, change those negative thoughts to positive thoughts and practice positive affirmations. (Read my previous blog: “I AM). The more we practice positive thinking the less time we will spend worrying.
We have to be intentionally if we want to get rid of worrying in our lives. Similarly, to how we exercise to get rid of pounds on our body and build muscle, we have to do the same with trying to eliminate worrying. We have to practice these three things consistently until we begin to get good at it and we will worry less. If after you try these three techniques and you revert back to worrying, forgive yourself, give yourself some grace and restart again.
We don’t want to live our lives in a state of worrying or dwelling on our difficulties, so let us pray instead, practice gratitude and focus on positive thoughts. Work on these things and see your life change overtime.
